Akpos joining the Army

Akpos joining the Army:
Officer: We need you in the army.
Akpos: I’ll join but on three conditions.
Officer: Ok. what are the conditions?
Akpos: My first condition is that
I’ll not wear the uniform because it is too hard.

Officer: Ok. What is the second condition? Akpos: I’ll not do the parade and other training
under the
sun because it will be too hot, I’ll only do it
under the shed or
some kind of shadow cover.
Officer: Ok. What is your third condition? Akpos: And my last and most
important condition is that during war times, I’ll
remain on leave.....
One word for akpos