Akpors’ father decided to take his son abroad

Akpors’ father decided to take his son abroad to
learn correct English because it had proved
impossible for him to do so in Nigeria; no matter how
much the teachers tried, Akpors will still speak only
pidgin.

A woman prepared some vegetable soup for herself and her husband. They are about to eat.

HUSBAND: Where did you get the vegetables
from?
WIFE: I got it from Mr. Sand's garden. HUSBAND: What?! From that wizard?! How do I
to know that he didn't poison the vegetables?
WIFE: I have an idea.
(Gives some to their dog. After some time, the
dog goes out to play.)

Facts & Jokes

(1.)People will call you 100 times a day when
they want to borrow money from u. and won't
call you the whole year when they owe you
money
(2.)Women's pictures and posts on fb attracts
more comments more dan men's own. No mata
how ugly it may luk.

Joke: Do you have a Vagina

A woman hears someone knock at the door. She opens to see and a man asks, "Do you have a vagina??"
She slams the door in disgust. The next day she hears a knock, opens up and its the
same man. He asks the same question the woman slams the door again.
Her husband gets home she tells him what happened for the last two days. The husband says to her, "Honey I'm taking tomorrow off to be home just in case he
shows up again."

Jokes: A nursery 2 girl

A nursery 2 girl asked her
teacher; Aunty, can my
mum get pregnant?
.
The teacher asked; How
old is your mum?
The girl replied; She is 42
years old.
The teacher said; Yes, she
can!
.
The girl asked; Can my
sister get pregnant?
The teacher asked; How
old is your sister?
The girl replied; She is 19
years old.
The teacher said; Yes, she
can!
.
The girl asked; Can i get
pregnant?
The teacher replied; You
are just 5 years old, so,
you can't get pregnant.
.
The boy Akpors behind
her, her classmate, poked
her and said; I told you,
we have nothing to worry
about!
.
One word for Akpors?

Akpos visits an electronic shop.

A man Akpos went to an
electronic shop.
He asked the shopkeeper;
What is the price of this
television?
The shopkeeper replied;
We don't sell our products
to Akpos.

Jokes: A man walked into a chemist

A man walked into a
chemist and said "Sir, my
head and my stomach
aches". A mad man was
sitting outside the chemist,
when he heard the man, he
rushed into the shop and

Akpos gets pulled over for over speeding

Akpos gets pulled over for speeding 88mph in a 45 zone. The cop asks for his drivers license and Akpos says, "I'm sorry officer, but my license was suspended after my 5th Accident." The cop asks for his registration and Akpos says "It's in the glove compartment, but it's not in my name because I stole this car in a car jacking and I killed the woman that owns the car and stuffed her in the trunk and the gun I used is in the glove compartment.

Between Akpos and his Lecturer

One day a Lecturer was
talking about marriage in
class…
Lecturer : What kind of
wife would you like,
Akpos?

Akpos was arrested in Lagos by a group of traffic Officials for driving on the BRT Lane

Akpos was arrested in
Lagos by a group of traffic
Officials for driving on the
BRT Lane reserved for
commercial passenger
buses.
His car was fined 5,000
Naira.
After begging and

Conversation Between A Dying Father and His Son

Conversation Between A
Dying
Father ( 2013) And His Son
(2014)
2013 : My son I'm tired.
2014 :Why?
2013: My time is up, I will

'A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years, breaks into Akpos’

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into Akpos’ house to look for money and guns and finds Akpos and his wife in bed.  He orders Akpos out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the wife to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, Akpos tells his wife:

“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” 

If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

Conversation between Police & Akpos

Police : where do u live ?
Akpos : with my parents.
Police : where does ur
parents live?
Akpos : with me.
Police : where do u all
live ?

Akpos gets Drunk

A Drunk Man Akpos was staggering home one night and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery and got shocked to see the place looking like a market with dead people buying and selling.
He ran as fast as he could to a house close to the cemetry and started banging on the door.
A guy opened the door.

Wife and Husband - Joke

Wife: U r smelling woman's
perfume
where did u get it?
Husband: From the
woman I was squeezed
with in
the
taxi.
Wife: What about d lipstick
on your
mouth?
Husband: Oo that one? I

Parrot Disgrace a Prostitute – JOKE

A lady went to store to buy a
parrot and asked the sale’s
man,”whats so special about the parrot ?”
Sale’s man says the parrot can talk
so the lady asks the parrot, “how
do i look ?”

Hilarious Video: Why Indians Don't Rob Banks?